Ponderings.

Lately I have been considering sex and sexuality (sounds like a lost Jane Austen novel): namely, the pervasive attitudes to these things, especially within teenagers and my age group.

Theoretically, I am "out of the closet" about being gay: however, I don't think I've even mentioned it to anyone in my entire school career so far. Why is this? I don't fear bullying, which probably would occur, because I don't need to care about anyone retarded enough to tease someone about that. While that'd be a worry, it's not my main reason.

I think the main reason is the general taboo on talk of sex and environs in conversation. You cannot bring it up: if it does come up, it rarely lasts long in a conversation. There seems a sad state of things when the topic of the weather can provoke a conversation of greater depth and thought than a conversation about sex and sexuality, which is really quite an important one.

Let's get one thing straight. Sex is not odd, base, perverse, strange, in any real way (special cases may appear so, but these are exceptions). It's a normal human activity, in many ways: of course, like any activity, there are those who do not engage in it, by choice or by genetics. But even then there is still a topic of conversation: atheism is something which you can discuss just as much as you can theism: so to asexuality.

Human sexuality is fascinating. It is so hard to pin down in any one way, that inevitably whenever a way is found people rush to it e.g. gender preference. For sexuality is not just what attracts you and how much. It is an entire geography of things, and it is nigh-impossible to pidgeonhole in any way.

Why can this not be discussed? Why is this not a topic for debate? (Perhaps not formal debate, heh, but I mean in a more general sense). What, really, is funny about the word penis? Peeeeeenis. Penis. Paninay. Vayjayjay. These are words with normal meanings and yet even typing them I get little taboo bells in my head. Why? What is this aversion to sexuality as a topic of public discussion? Between friends, perhaps, whispered things in little ways: and indeed for personal and specific things, this is probably best. But in a more general case why is a more general conversational approach not valid?

What it comes down to, I suppose, is me wondering why we seems to have an inbuilt approach at avoiding the subject, a aversion I share: I would find it hard to express all these words in public. At the most, I'd still be giggling at the word vajayjay. It's interesting that this aversion exists, and I wonder on the reason for it.

On a related but more bloggy note, October 11th is National Coming Out Day: I hope to get hold of a little rainbow wristbandy thing before this time, because really, if I cannot bring up the courage to apply the general case then, when can I?

Off subject completely, am very annoyed at my lack of Exalted: Friendly Local Book Shoppe, you have failed me! This is why you don't order gaming books from anything other than FLGS and Amazon: because most people have no idea what a gaing book is, let alone how to get one. Luckily next Wednesday is only chargenning so I don't need my book: dammit, it would have been useful though.